I know the organized church has clarified its purpose over the past “X” number of years, saying more directly, perhaps more concisely, certainly with more urgency, that we are a people who follow Christ in mission. We hear that. We understand that. And, to the degree that we are people of integrity, we grapple with that purpose regularly, trying to see where such “following” will take us today, what it will look like at this moment or that. We think in missional language. We awaken and eat in a missional way, much as the people of God who, on the verge of their release from captivity, ate their last meal with their coats on, their sandals laced and tied, their staffs in hand (Exodus 12:11). The church’s rally-day theme might simply be, “Go!”
Consequently, however, introspection has
become somewhat passe’. After all, we
can’t be taking a long, hard look at ourselves if we are going to be a people
of action. It’s the adjective “long”
that doesn't stand up under scrutiny. Church analysts will say we have been
looking at ourselves for far-too-long!
Introspection has become a barrier to mission.
But how then can we ever be certain of
our motives? The Bible calls this aspect
of our experience, “the inclination of our hearts,” an inclination, as we are
reminded often, that is seen by God, even if no one else questions our choices,
(Genesis 6:5; Matthew 15:19). We are
neither inclined to be good, nor can we remain invisible. David’s plot to have what he wants at the
expense of his neighbor is exposed when Nathan exclaims, “you are the man. Thus says the Lord God…” (2 Samuel 12:7).
The truth is that we are not inclined to
be honestly introspective any more than we are inclined to be lovingly
missional. Not without God’s urging and
confronting. And not without stories –
many, many stories, like beads on a string, each connecting our inner lives
with our outer choices. Abram who
follows God when no one else does, and yet who passes off his wife as his sister
to save himself. But that’s not all,
there’s more to his story, better choices lie ahead. Spectacular Elijah who is hunted down and
gives up and yet, who is called out of his man-cave, revived once again for
mission. Gideon, Joshua, Ruth, Esther, the Marys, Peter, Nathaniel, Andrew, the
Johns, Paul, Aquilla and Priscilla—those of us who read the bible know them by
name and by the “ins” and “outs” of their lives.
Contrary to modern opinion, we are not necessarily being egocentric when we share our personal experiences. One life story laid out alongside of another – it’s the biblical way. If we offer stories from our own
experience to one another -- perhaps while standing in the Fellowship Room on a
Sunday morning with coffee in hand or working on a service project in the
community -- we are in that same, long line. But sharing openly is not so popular today among those of us who want to have our own story look more polished. We may enjoy reality TV, but not all of us would sign up to be the
focus of judgments and jokes ourselves.
Still sharing our life stories is critical...
if we believe that they are emblematic,
if we believe that they are emblematic,
if we have done some introspection
beforehand,
The other day while I was sitting at a
coffee shop with someone, I was caught off guard. I had been listening to the other’s story about
making a difficult decision and I had responded, “You have to listen to the
voice inside of you.”
“But, that’s exactly what I’m doing,”
said the person across from me. “You’re
contradicting yourself, Pastor. I’m
doing exactly what I want to do, but you seem to think the better choice would
be to do what I don’t want to do!”
Honestly, I did not have a reply
ready. I was taken aback, surprised to
discover that I was so illogical. There
it was, pointed out to me as plain as day.
And yet, something in that remark didn't seem right to me.
On the drive home, the light came
on. How was it that I can believe we
each need to listen to our inner voice and yet, sometimes choose to do things
that we don’t want to do? Of course!
Introspection isn't only “hearing myself think.” It’s about taking time to sit with God and
pray. I was assuming that “inner voice”
that I would hear would be God’s, not my own voice. It’s the story of Jesus in the Garden of
Gethsemane, praying “Not my will, but thine be done” (Luke 22:44). It’s the
central story of a loving life, a story of self-sacrifice.
I believe in opening up my life for others to
rummage around in, on the chance that they might find some little truth, like
discovering a treasure at someone’s yard sale. That's very different from my setting up a sales display for them and giving them a sales pitch. I believe spiritual decisions are “gut” decisions,
not made for me by others. Oh, the church can confirm my choices by
being the external counsel of those who also live with an awareness of God,
whose lives have been rescued and changed by Jesus and guided by the Holy Spirit, but my own obedience, my thankfulness – ultimately that’s between myself and the Lord
Jesus.
Introspection, action, reflection,
confirmation or adjustment – surely this is a healthy pattern for our lives, isn't it? All under the direction of our
Lord, all to our great mutual benefit by God's design and all to God’s Glory!
Grace and peace,
Pastor Shirley
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